What They Told Me to Do
by KishinumaYoshiki246
Summary: AU where Yu Narukami is schizophrenic. When he moved into this town after being released from the hospital, he planned to stay away from people. That idea was lost when he found people who relied on him and cared about him, and one who would pull him out of the despair. Yu/Yosuke and some smut closer to the end.
1. Chapter 1

So I stayed up really late one night and got a crazy idea for an AU where Yu is schizophrenic. I'd like to mention right off the bat that I am NOT schizophrenic, but I've done a fair bit of research into it. So there may be mistakes. And we'll have lots of Yu/Yosuke going on. So if you like angst, and I think you do, enjoy!

Trigger warnings for suicide, self-harm, and mentions of rape.

Another note: Microsoft word kept telling me to put in semicolons. Probably looks really pretentious. Ehhh whatever.

* * *

It didn't work. As to be expected. It hasn't worked any other time. But there's a feeling of hope that I can't describe when I take the handfuls of pills and swallow as many as I can. But they'd notice right away, and before I knew it they're knocking me out and forcing the tube down my throat to pump my stomach. There were so few options. You would either overdose on your medication or refuse to eat. I suppose you could attempt living, but people who think there's a way out are almost pathetic. They clung to the spider's thread of hope, and thought it might just be strong enough to pull them out of this despair. Why did they try so hard to keep us alive, anyway? They knew we wanted to die. We had already accepted that we'd never see sunlight again. And it was easier for them to just let us die. They wouldn't have to feed us and keep us alive. I knew I had nothing left. My family had left me behind, I had no promise in my future, and I would laugh in your face if you suggested friendship. There's no cure out there for me. I'm fated to rot away in this ugly white straight jacket. I hate it. In the beginning, I actually tried to tolerate this thing. I'd just bite my lip until it bled, and let it drop down onto the clean white. Even that's pointless now. There's nothing to find joy in anymore. It was easier to close your eyes and be eaten away by the despair. After enough time, it didn't hurt anymore. There was no pain to be felt. I had no emotions left. I barely knew what they are, because the only people I had contact with are the guards. But they knew everything about me. They had to know, in order to stay safe. So they kept their distance. They quickly gave me my food and medication and go on their way. Sometimes I was able to stop them and talk to them. It's usually the stupid ones, the ones that got the job because they've got enough muscle. Usually, I could convince them to flush my medication and not give it to me. It saved them the trouble of having to force feed them to me.

Every time I got a new medication, which was often, I'd at least give it a chance. Who knows, one might've been able to make me a functioning human being. I'd only take them if I could tolerate them, though. Sometimes the side-effects were too awful, so I'd talk the guards into getting rid of them. The last kind I got were the worst. They made my head hurt, my heart race and my body hurt. After only taking them once, I told the guard I didn't want them.

"I can't do that," he said. I knew this one well. He wasn't very intelligent, and I didn't often have a hard time manipulating him.

"Why not? These pills are awful. I'm not taking any more of them." I retorted.

He sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "I was told by the higher-ups that these ones are required no matter what. They might test you, too. And if they find out I haven't been giving them to you, they'll probably sack me." He explained.

I gave him a curious look. "What's so special about these?" I asked. There's no way they worked.

"Apparently they've tried them on other schizos, and they worked really well. And you've been in here for years; they'd do anything to get you out of here," he added. This was stupid. I wasn't going to take the pills, even if they could drown out the voices. I even told him that."I don't have a choice in this. If you keep refusing to take them, I'll have to use force. You know that," he reminded me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm not taking them," I said firmly. Within seconds his weight was on me, holding me down. Easily enough for him, he didn't even have to worry about restraining my arms. Regardless, I kicked and lashed out, but it didn't take him much effort to pry open my jaws. He wasn't gentle, either. He pulled my mouth open further than it should go, and it felt like the skin on my lips and cheeks was going to rip under the force. He roughly put the pills in my mouth, then slammed my jaws back together. He held his hands over my nose and mouth until my vision started to go dark. I couldn't breathe, and my kicking was only exhausting me. Moments before I lost consciousness, I swallowed. He released his hands and stood up.

"That didn't have to be that hard, you know." He walked out of the padded room and locked it behind him. I stayed on the floor, panting and dreading the moment the pills would take effect.

This happened every day after that, and they were taking me out for research more often. My worst fears were being proven in front of me. They said the pills were working. Which meant I was staying on them. I told them I would do anything to get those away from me, but I'm just another lunatic in their eyes. My words were just nonsense and should be ignored. But I couldn't blame them. I barely had any humanity left in me.

One day, the guards pulled me out of my cell and told me I had some people to talk to. I didn't understand why, but at least something was happening. They even took me out of my straight jacket. And it didn't appear to be more tests, either. I was curious, I had to admit. They brought me to an office in the building. There was a lady sitting behind the desk, with plain black hair slicked back into a ponytail. I wasn't sure how old she was, but I'd guess around forty.

"Yu Narukami?" She asked as I came in the door.

"Yes," I replied. She gestured to a seat in front of her, and I sat down. It was surprisingly comfortable, but I might've only thought that because the mattress in my cell is rock-hard.

"My name is Juri Hirota. Right, well I have good news for you. We're letting you out." She told me.

I wasn't even sure how to respond to that. Did they get the patients mixed up? It wasn't very nice to get someone's hopes up like that. "What?"

She nodded and let a smile show. "I understand your confusion. This isn't a mistake or anything. I know you've been in here for a long time. And we finally are able to let you out." She said. This was hard to believe.

"How?" Was all I said. I had a lot more questions than that, but I felt like that word asked most of them.

"Well, after researching you while on your new medication and watching you, you've been deemed stable enough to get back to your life. And you've been in here from a young age, the world's going to be new enough for you already. Any more time in here and might not be mentally capable of functioning outside of this place. But you absolutely must take your medication. I know you don't want to, but if you aren't on good behaviour, you're coming right back." She explained. I'm glad she was friendly about all of this; I was used to aggressive and rude workers.

I blinked in confusion. Everything about this seemed like a dream. "But where will I go?" I questioned.

"We're aware that both of your parents are out of the picture in one way or another. We looked into it, and found out you have an uncle." She opened a drawer beside her and fingered though the folders. She selected the one she was looking for and pulled it out.

"I do?" The more she explained, the more lost I was.

She flipped open the folder and browsed through its contents. "Yes. Your mother's younger brother, Ryotaro Dojima. We contacted him and told him about your situation."

"Everything?" I asked.

"Yes. It's important he knows everything."

"I don't think he'll be very fond of me, than."

"It was quite the opposite. He was very sympathetic. And, being your only close relative, maybe he felt obligated to take you in. In fact, he sent us this to give to you." Ms. Hirota dug through the folder, and pulled out a small... Thing. I wasn't too sure what it was. She pushed it across the desk, and I picked it up with my fingertips. It seemed like a small machine with lights and buttons. The only exposure I've ever had to technology were all those machines they used to scan my brain.

"What is this?" I asked her, and she plucked it from my hands. She pressed one of the buttons on the outside and it slid open. There was a screen, and lots of buttons.

"It's a cell phone. You probably haven't seen one of these in quite some time, have you?" She smiled again. She had a somewhat motherly quality to her. She spoke like she was showing a new toy to a child. I didn't mind at all, actually. It felt... Comforting.

"It's so small, though..." I could recall seeing them as a child, but they were big and bulky with a small screen and a few larger buttons. "Wait, is it for me?"

Ms. Hirota nodded and handed it to me again. "It's all yours. Your uncle thought it would be good to have something to contact him with before you got there. Ah, and I have train tickets for you, too. Unfortunately, you'll have to get on the train on your own. It shouldn't be too hard though, all of the important information is on the ticket. You'll be leaving tomorrow."

I was escorted back to my room after that. I wasn't even sure what to think about anything anymore. They didn't force me back into the straight jacket or anything. They just gave me a bottle of pills with instructions on the label. The main medication to keep my episodes and hallucinations at bay, and another to adjust side effects of the primary medication. I might have been able to tolerate it if there were fewer side effects than when they first tried it on me. I spent the rest of the night learning how to use my new phone. I couldn't sleep at all; I was so excited to back out into the world. Things would be so different. I wondered if I'd make friends. I was going to school, too. I was already given my uniform. Since I was underage, I went through something similar to homeschooling, so I shouldn't be behind. I would probably lack the social skills, though. Hopefully it wouldn't be too bad. I spent that night lying awake in my bed wondering how my life would turn out after those events.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, I left. I was given written directions to the train station and sent on my way. The moment I stepped outside, I was shocked. It was so strange, the world was so big. I felt like I could see forever. There were tall buildings and busy people going on with their lives. It took me a moment of looking around before I could get my feet moving in the right direction again. This city was so huge I was worried I'd get lost. Soon enough, I made my way to the train station. There were so many people, and I surprised they weren't louder. But that was Japan, for you. Once I was on the train, I ended falling asleep, since I hadn't slept the night before. I had an unusual dream and woke up. I wished I had been able to sleep longer, though. All of a sudden, I felt a strange feeling in my pocket. I rummaged through it and pulled out my phone. I would never get used to this thing. Upon unlocking it, I saw that I had gotten a message from my uncle, telling me where to meet up with him. I didn't even know this uncle existed before yesterday, and now I was going to live with him. After a year, they'd be taking me back and testing how I was functioning.

I was like a valuable test subject to them. Then again, I was an unusual case, so they were trying to figure out why I was so different. The case with most people with schizophrenia is that the symptoms never show until they reached their late teen years. If I was normal, I'd just start showing symptoms now, at the age of 17. However, mine started to exhibit themselves when I was 10, which was way too young. It wasn't unheard of though, just very rare. But one of the issues of getting symptoms too early is that they get worse and worse later on. I apparently got more hallucinations than most others, and I had more frequent and violent episodes. Lots of us didn't get episodes at all. I hated mine even more, because I would usually attack people, and if there wasn't anyone around, I'd hurt myself. Especially when they put me on a new medication, it would make my mind numb. So sometimes I craved the pain, it was the only thing that would make me feel human. However, I haven't had many thoughts of violence since they adjusted this medication as best as they could. It was hard to believe I was deemed safe.

Hearing the announcement on the train, I got ready to get off. This new town was a lot smaller than Tokyo, but it still seemed huge to me. The mountains stretched on forever, and the air here didn't smell like chemicals and over-cleanliness. It had a… fresh feeling. I smiled to myself. I hadn't smiled in a long time. But this was something that made me truly happy.

I met with my uncle and we introduced ourselves. I got to meet his daughter, who also was someone I didn't know existed. I felt like I had a family. I suppose they were my family, actually. This was all too good to be true. But when I looked at Nanako, I felt a strange pain in the back of my head. It wasn't screaming to be felt, just a light soreness that didn't go away easily. I dismissed it as another side effect and went on my way with Dojima and Nanako.

After briefly stopping at the gas station, we arrived at the Dojima residence. I was feeling worse and worse by the minute. Just after talking to the gas station attendant, I felt like I might vomit. Regardless, I ate dinner with my new family. We had sushi, and it might have been the best thing I had ever tasted. There were so many kinds, different flavours, shapes and ingredients. Dojima seemed to notice how much I liked it; he would give me a soft smile and offer me more. Eventually I couldn't eat any more. My stomach had shrunk to accommodate hospital food, so I couldn't eat very much. And I was feeling as sick as I was, so I decided not to eat any more. I didn't want to make myself throw up. After that I had to unpack my few belongings, and tried to settle into the room I'd be living in for the next year.

After breakfast the next morning, Nanako walked me most of the way to my school and told me how to get there. She didn't seem like a bad kid at all, and I thought we might be able to get along.

Immediately when I entered the classroom, I was being yelled at by a rather slovenly-seeming teacher. I was so shocked that he had insulted me to my face that I just echoed what he said in shock. "Are you calling me a loser?" I asked him. I was told that I made it on his shit-list, whatever that is, and told to sit down. I knew that going to school for the first time in years was going to be strange, but that on its own was a wild ride from start to finish. The girl next seemed to be making an effort to be friendly, at least. When the announcement came on telling us that there had been an accident, I just assumed this was normal. As I was sitting there, some odd events unfolded right next to me. I saw as a boy explained to his friend that he broke her DVD, and asked for forgiveness. I ended up watching them, envying their relationships. That is, until the boy-Yosuke, was it?- ended up being kicked between the legs and left there. I was considering helping him out, but the two girls I had met dragged me out of there pretty fast. I didn't know why they were so interested in me, so I just walked home with them and answered their questions. Not all of my answers were completely true, though.

"So why did you have to move out to nowhere?" The girl named Chie asked.

I had to pause for a moment. Ahh, what should I tell them? "My parents got transferred in their work, so they had to leave me for a year. My uncle, who I'm staying with, was my closest relative willing to take me in." I lied.

"That's a bit harsh," Yukiko, the black-haired girl commented.

Nowhere near as harsh as the truth, though. I noticed Yukiko was giving me a bit of a strange look. She might've noticed me pause. I hoped it was my imagination and continued walking home.

But before we went our separate ways, we approached a crime scene. Wondering what it was, we curiously looked around. Hearing the housewives mention a dead body was a bit shocking. It had been a while since I'd seen one of those. It had already been taken down though, so I didn't have to worry about that. The girls suddenly weren't up for talking anymore, so we went our separate ways. That night I heard the information on the television about how a body had been found strung up on a TV antenna like a Christmas ornament. But from the reactions the people around me were giving, I guessed that maybe this wasn't normal. I talked with Nanako for a while and finished setting up my belongings and retired for the night.

As I was walking to school the next morning, I bicycle drove past me and crashed into a nearby pile of trash cans. I was about to walk away, but I realised it might've been the boy from the day before. I wasn't sure though, I had only seen him for a moment before he crashed. I figured there was no harm in pulling him out of there to check, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled as hard as I could.

"Thanks, man." He said, rubbing the back of his head in hopes to pull out anything that might've gotten tangled in there. "Hey, you're that transfer student. Narukami, right?"

"Yes, that's right," I said evenly, but it felt strange interacting with someone my age. "Are you okay? That looked painful."

He sighed and looked back over at his bike, which was buried under heaps of trash cans. "This actually happens a lot," he laughed. "Ah, I didn't introduce myself! Yosuke Hanamura, nice to meet you." He held out his hand in front of him. Oh no, what was he doing? He was looking at me expectantly. Was I supposed to do something? I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I paled. I would never be able to function in society like this. I stared blankly at him for a few painful moments until he dropped his hand down uncomfortably. "You're looking a bit pale. You wanna just head to class?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes, let's go." I responded, feeling awkward.

He and I talked when we got to the classroom. He even invited me out for food. I liked him already.

"I'll treat you to steak!" he offered. "It's like the local delicacy out here, there isn't a lot else."

"Steak…?" I thought out loud. "What's that again? Is it… It's a meat, right?" I asked in confusion. Different kinds of food were something I was very unfamiliar with.

Yosuke looked confused. "Eh? You don't know what steak is? You are Japanese, aren't you? But uh, yeah, it's like a slab of meat."

"I heard someone say meat!" Chie greeted as she came up behind us. "You should treat me too! After all, you broke my 'Trial of the Dragon'!" she reminded him.

"Argh, I can't afford to treat two people!" he groaned.

As soon as school was out, the tree of us made our way to the Junes, which was the place Yosuke's parents owned. It seemed I was already making friends, even though I had just arrived. Apparently he really couldn't afford to treat is both, so we didn't get the steak, but the shakes he bought us were still really good. I wanted to ask what it was, but I was afraid he'd wonder why I didn't know obvious things.

"Hey, it's Saki-Senpai!" Yosuke said when he saw a girl come out of the store. He immediately left Chie and me to go talk to her.

"Hey, Satonaka," I began, "is that Hanamura's girlfriend or something? I didn't know he was dating someone."

"No, he wishes, though. He's totally got a thing for her." She replied. I assumed that meant he wanted to date her. Ugh, slang. "Ever since the Junes opened up, some of the locally-owned businesses stared to lose customers. Saki's parents' store was affected too, so she took a part-time job here to help out her parents a bit," she explained. I looked over at where Yosuke was talking to the girl, and she noticed me.

"Oh hey, you're the transfer student," she commented. "I see Yosuke managed to drag you over here to boost his business, huh?" as she said that, Yosuke was standing behind her, trying to play off her insults as a joke. He looked pathetic, really. "But he can be pretty annoying sometimes, so tell him straight to his face if he's bugging you," she suggested.

"Not at all," I replied. "I think he's a really good person." I told her. He had been really friendly to me, even though we had just met. I could already feel myself getting attached to him.

Yosuke was visibly flustered. "Are you guys just trying to embarrass me now?" he muttered to himself.

Saki stood up straight and shrugged. "Well, if you say so. Well, I gotta get back to work. See you guys."

We watched her walk away, and Chie spoke up. "I see this forbidden love thing going on, heehee…" she snickered.

"It's not like that, idiot," he retorted.

As they were bickering, I noticed something on Chie. "Ah…! Satonaka?" I called, trying to get her attention.

"Eh? Something up, Narukami?" she asked curiously, turning away from Yosuke.

I nodded and brought my hand up. "There's a bug in your hair."

She gasped and stopped moving. "Oh my god, there is?" she said shakily. "Kyaaa! Get it off!" she yelled, slapping her hands around her head.

"Hold still, I can get it off!" I said, as I pulled her hand away from her head. A beetle was nestled in the hair behind her ear. I plucked it off with two of my fingers and held it in front of me to look at it. "Wow, it's pretty big. I wonder how long that's been there."

Yosuke looked at my hand that was holding it. "I don't… see it. Is it just really small?" I was about to correct him, but Chie was giving me a strange look as well. They looked nervously at each other, and I wasn't sure why. It was right between my fingers, and it was maybe half an inch long. Do they just have bad eyesight? Seems unlikely. I threw the beetle onto the ground when it hit me. There probably was no beetle. I must've just been seeing it. Oh no, I wasn't supposed to make scenes like that in front of other people. I decided to drop the subject. I didn't want the people willing to befriend me to be afraid of me. I had to be careful.

"So, on a different note," Chie began. "Have you guys heard of the Midnight Channel?"


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks so much for the awesome feedback, you guys! I really appreciate that you're taking time out of your days to give advice and ideas. I do read all of your reviews, and you guys have great ideas. I'm only in high school after all, so I'm not perfect.

Also, I'm getting a job soon, so updates are going to be a bit slower.

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I sat in my room that night, blankly sprawled on the couch in my room. The rain was coming down heavily as I waited, sheets of water falling with a light _pitter patter_. Even when I closed my eyes and covered my ears, I could still hear it drumming against the window. The constant noise was something I hated getting used to, I hated noise so much. Every time someone spoke out of turn, or dropped something by mistake, I just wanted to scream. Back in the cell, those padded walls absorbed any noise you could throw at them.

Except_ them_.

They were always there. Sometimes they were loud and obnoxious, other times they were just a quiet reminder in the back of my head that I wasn't normal, and I never would be. There were usually several audible at any given time, and what they said wasn't even important. They were usually just telling me how worthless I was, how everything would be better if I wasn't alive anymore. And I believed everything they said. They may have spoken a harsh truth, but it was a reality I knew to be true, so I embraced it.

But they were me, weren't they?

Even though I knew what they were, they were still part of my reality. They were what make me who I was. I did't have a lot going for me in terms of personality, but they would give that to me. They were controlling. When they weren't just narrating my actions or observing my surroundings, they would try to take control for themselves. They'd tell me what to do. They'd tell me to do or say stupid things, and I would simply tell them no. It was never that easy, though, that's when they'd start to threaten me. They would tell me they would hurt me, and sometimes I'd get scared of them and do what they said. That led to… regrettable outcomes. Eventually, they couldn't hurt me with anything anymore. After I had nothing left I had nothing to lose, so I was finally safe. Even if they were always there, giving their unwanted opinions, I could live with them. I could tolerate this constant noise in the back of my head. I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard true silence.

That's why I hated the rain. Why did it have to be so unbearably loud? Hearing it with them constantly blabbering in the background made me want to tear my hair out. There was so much noise, when there could've been silence. That's all I really wanted. Silence. I could hear everything I didn't want to hear, much to my dismay. I could hear the rain, I could hear my thoughts, I could hear the voices, and I could hear the clock ticking as the hands slid oh so precariously toward midnight.

I slowly stood from my seat on the couch and gazed towards the television in my room. I didn't know why I was doing this. I guess I just wanted to be able to say for sure that this was just a joke and move on with my life. The clock kept ticking. I glanced at it as it counted down the seconds to midnight. When only a few seconds were left, I moved my focus back onto the TV and counted with the clock.

_Three, two, one…_

The screen lit up. I could see someone. It was a girl with shoulder-length brown hair and… She seemed to be wearing our school's uniform. I looked closer, but the image was too fuzzy for me to make out any details. And they were getting louder. They were yelling nonsense about… How they're me? But I already knew that. And their voices sounded different, too. My head started to hurt out of nowhere, a throbbing pain begging to be felt. I was seeing flashes of white behind my eyes, and I was aware that I was groaning in pain. I felt like I was going to fall, or even throw up, so I leaned toward the TV for support. That's when my arm went right through the screen. It didn't break the glass, or anything, but it was as if it had turned into liquid. But I knew I could deal with these hallucinations. But first I had to get myself out of the-

The sharp crack of my skull colliding with the wooden table reverberated though my entire body. I thought I was going to lose consciousness right there, but I was able to sit up straight. I heard Nanako through the door, asking if I was alright, so I gave her a quick "Yes," and decided I should probably get some sleep.

At school the next morning, I explained what had happened the night before. "I fell and hit my head on the table right after that. It still hurts." I sighed. "It was probably just a dream, though."

"I'd say," Chie giggled. "I like the part where you got stuck because your TV was too small. That was actually pretty realistic."

They didn't believe me for a second. Which was good, I guess, because I knew it wasn't real. What a strange thing to happen. We continued talking about the midnight channel, and deduced that we all saw the same person. We talked some more and made plans to go to the Junes after school so Chie could look at getting a television for her family.

Once at the Junes, Yosuke showed us some TV models, and Chie complained about the high prices. Just to be absolutely sure, I lightly placed my hand on the screen of one of them. It went right through, or so I was seeing. I smiled to myself. Sure, it was a hallucination, but it was vivid and innocent. So I went in further. Apparently, Chie and Yosuke noticed me do something, and ran over. They were talking, but I was in my own world now. The voices told me to keep going. They didn't know what was past this, so they wanted me to find out. Something struck me from behind, and I tumbled in head-first.

I sat up. This place was strange, it looked like there was yellow fog everywhere. Where was I? No, I had to think straight. I was obviously seeing things that weren't there. Nothing I was seeing was real. I looked around, and Chie and Yosuke were next to me. They looked confused.

"Where are we?" Chie asked, her voice shaking.

"We're in the Junes, obviously," I said, trying to keep my calm. Usually the things I saw didn't take up my whole world. "Nothing happened." I felt like I was just trying to convince myself at this point. It was all so real that I didn't want to accept that it might be in my head. I was just spitting out words in hopes they wouldn't know what I was seeing.

"Bullshit!" Yosuke yelled as he looked around. "This is definitely not Junes!"

"What are you talking about? We're in… The electronics department. Right?"

Chie gave me the strangest look. "Do you not see what's going on here?"

"What do you see?" I asked. Maybe I was just confused. We had probably already left the Junes. I'm the one not making any sense.

"Fog, yellowness, and…" Yosuke looked around at his feet. "Are those body outlines?"

What? They saw it too? This was real? I didn't know what to say to that, so I just said nothing as I observed me peculiar surroundings.

I stood up shakily. "Are you two alright?" I asked as I attempted to regain my balance.

"Yeah, I guess. I landed on my wallet, though." Yosuke groaned. "So what is going on here?"

"I haven't the slightest," I mumbled. "Let's look around for some kind of exit."

After the crazy bear pushed us out, we were sitting in the Junes once more. It wasn't the strangest thing I had seen... No, that's a lie. I had never seen anything that strange in my life. And, a lording to these people, it all really happened. I think. I still wasn't completely certain. "All of that happened, right? I'm not seeing things?" I asked again for confirmation.

Yosuke shook his head, as if it would knock all of his thoughts back into the right places. "Yeah, that happened. Let's just go home for today."

And we did just that. I wasn't sure how to think of anything anymore. As soon as I got out of the hospital, I was thrust head-first into some kind of magic right off the bat. I didn't know if it would get worse. All I knew is that the most important thing to do is make sure I don't break. I couldn't afford to lose it now. Who knows...? Maybe I'd find something to live for in this world.

The news of Saki's death didn't mean much to me, but seeing the people around me thrown into sadness was strange. Yosuke was hurt the worst, but it looked like he loved her a lot. I couldn't really understand how you could love a person that much, but his dismay started to rub off on me. Even I was beginning to feel down.

We went back to the other world, and Yosuke got his persona too. I was already starting to feel like I was part of something, and there were people who depended on me. Our group was growing, and I belonged somewhere. Soon enough there were more of us, Chie got her persona, as did Yukiko and eventually Kanji. And I had friends. I wasn't used to it, but I felt like I might as well enjoy it as much as I could. I didn't know how long it would last, after all.

Yosuke and I sat across from each other at the picnic table, patiently awaiting our food. We were both sore after sending the entire day picking up garbage off of the side of the mountain, but the evening breeze was beginning to roll over us.

"Man, this is gonna be great!" Yosuke beamed. "I can't believe the girls are cooking for us! And Yukiko's got the whole tradition of the inn behind her, so I think she'll come up with something good."

I was personally… Less than hopeful. I had seen the strange things they were picking out as ingredients, so I wasn't exactly sure they would come out with something good. I doubted they had any idea what they were doing, they sure didn't sound like it when we were back in the store. A sigh left my lips. "Are you sure they know what they're doing, Hanamura?" I asked uncertainly.

"Of course they do! This'll be great!" He laughed. I swallowed my fear and hoped for the best. After all, it couldn't be that bad. I ate Nanako's science project. I could handle anything.

"It's ready, boys!" Chie and Yukiko called out to us, each holding a plate. They set them down in front of us. Chie giggled nervously and held her hands behind her back. "We made it with lots of... Love?"

"So eat up," Yukiko told us, looking obviously uncomfortable.

Yosuke held up his spoon happily. "Awesome! Thanks, you two!" He plunged his spoon into the "curry" on his plate and shovelled it into his mouth. As soon as it touched his tongue, he spat it back out onto the ground. "What the hell is this?" He screamed.

I sighed as he began to fight with Chie. Nothing that unusual, I suppose. The smell of the dish in front of me almost made me gag.

"Well, maybe your taste buds just aren't refined enough!" Chie screeched, and turned to look at me. "What do you say about it, Narukami?"

"Eh? Me?" I questioned. I couldn't keep the horror out of my eyes as I glanced nervously at the plate in front of me. Chie and Yukiko were both standing right in front of me, so I couldn't fake it. Surely, this couldn't be any worse than the mouldy miso I ate a while ago. I picked up my spoon, but my hands were shaking. I took a bite, and knew immediately that this concoction wasn't edible. But I was stronger than that, I was the leader of this group! These people needed someone to rely on. And if I couldn't do this much, than what kind of leader would I be? I was still holding it in my mouth. It burned. It hurt. My throat was screaming at me to spit it out, but I couldn't go back now. My eyes started to water.

But I swallowed it. It slowly slid down my throat, burning the whole way down like pins and razors clawing my esophagus. I didn't even have water, and I gasped for air. My mouth still felt slimy, so I swallowed again to try and get the rest of it down. I couldn't take it anymore. My whole body was rejecting it, and my stomach tightened as it was forced back up my neck.

I had fallen out of my seat at this point. I was bent over the ground as it all came back up. The entire contents of my stomach were clawing their way up to my mouth, the stomach acid burning the already scorched areas. I heaved again, and soon enough there was nothing left to come up. I coughed and sat back on my legs. I could hear Yosuke yelling from behind me again.

"See? It's not just me! It was so bad it made Narukami puke it up! And you know that guy can eat anything!" He spat and ran to my side to see if I was alright. "Are you okay? Geez, you shouldn't have eaten that!" He scowled back up at Yukiko and Chie. "Now he doesn't have anything in his system, AND there's nothing left for him to eat!" He yelled as he helped me up.

Chie looked down. "We're really sorry..." She mumbled.

"It's alright," I coughed. "Let's just go back to our tents."


	4. Chapter 4

Yosuke and I left the eating area and went back to our tent. Kanji joined us as well, since the other first years were scared of him and we had room.

"Well this camping trip has been pretty awful so far," Yosuke complained, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, this is really fucking stupid," I muttered without thinking. Yosuke and Kanji gave me strange looks.

"Wow, the hunger must be putting you in a bad mood, huh? I never hear you swear," Yosuke pointed out.

Really, he hadn't? It felt so natural. Maybe it was good to get that stuff out of my system, because I felt strangely... Alive? I was hard to explain. Even though my stomach was angrily rumbling, I still felt really good. "I feel fine," I responded.

There was a sudden scratching on the outside of the tent. Kanji unzipped the doors and suddenly, Yukiko and Chie were I'm the tent with us.

"Sorry for coming in like this..." Chie muttered. "But we're sharing a tent with Hanako, she snores really loudly and takes up most of the tent."

"And we also wanted to check on Narukami. We wanted to make sure you were okay, because this was all our fault." Yukiko admitted.

"I feel fine," I repeated. I still couldn't figure out why I felt so strange. This feeling was definitely familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on what it could be. I stayed pretty quiet while the others talked.

"But what if King Moron catches you guys?" Yosuke asked worriedly.

Chie snickered. "He's too drunk to notice. As long as this is okay with you guys."

Kanji and Yosuke agreed. They looked at me for my input, but I didn't quite notice right away. My mind was wandering, I wasn't really there. "What do you think, Narukami?" Yosuke prompted.

I looked up. "I feel- Ah, yeah, sure. Whatever." I mumbled.

Kanji tilted his head. "Are you sure you're feeling alright, senpai? You seem kinda messed up."

I was too busy thinking to respond, pulling all of the files in my head to figure out what was going on here. When had I felt this? Then I remembered. I remembered this feeling from back in the mental facility. That would mean... Oh no, I wasn't on my medication. Oh no, it must've come up when I vomited earlier._ I had better take it now_, I thought as I reached into my pocket and pulled out the orange cylinder. I popped it open and placed two pills in my hand, one of each kind. After taking them, everyone in the tent was looking at me again. Agh, what did they want? "Why are you guys looking at me like that?" I whispered, shrinking back.

"What are those pills for?" Yosuke asked curiously.

Oh, they saw. I didn't realize they might. "Oh, uh... its nothi-" I was cut off when Kanji snatched the bottle from my hand and held it up. "Hey!"

"Anti-psychotics for extreme... Schizophrenia?" Kanji read curiously. I could feel their eyes burning into me. They were afraid of me. I knew it. They were gonna try to kill me. I wasn't normal, so they couldn't keep me around. I raised my hands defensively. "No, that's not right...!" I lied quickly. "It's not true, I swear!"

"Naru... kami...? So... Were you just reusing a bottle or something?" Yosuke pressed.

And _they_ were there too. They knew this would happen, they were telling me so. And they were louder than ever. Telling me that the only way out of this was to kill them before they could kill me. I had to protect myself. They were going to hurt me. And that's all I said. "Don't hurt me..." I whispered.

"Um, what? No one's going to hurt you," Yukiko said softly.

I clenched my hands over my head. I tried to make myself small, in hopes they would forget I was there. "Give them back..." I muttered.

Kanji blinked in confusion. "The pills?"

"Give them back!" I yelled suddenly, surprised by my volume.

"Shhh!" Yosuke hushed, glancing around to make sure I hadn't caught anyone's attention. "Calm down. You're safe. We're your friends. We'll give them back." Yosuke coaxed. Kanji handed the bottle back to me, so I quickly stuffed them back into my pocket. My heart was still beating fast. But I could already feel my head start to feel murky, and I could think slightly better already.

"You weren't supposed to know," I confided.

Yosuke looked at me with worried eyes. I found it hard to look away. "We aren't mad. I just... Thought you would tell me something like that. I thought we were closer than that," he sighed.

That hurt. I realized my mistake. He was my best friend... No, everyone here was my friend. They were all I had. I shouldn't have kept this away from them. I was stupid… So stupid. "I'm sorry..." I said, clenching my fists and looking to the ground. "I should have told you. I'll tell you everything."

Yosuke lightly placed his hand on my shoulder, making me flinch at the contact. He pulled his hand back. "I just want you to know that we're still friends, no matter what, okay?" He smiled.

"Yeah, we've got your back!" Chie exclaimed.

"You helped me out when things were rough," Kanji beamed, lightly punching me in the shoulder.

Yukiko smiled sweetly. "We'll always accept you."

I looked at them, confused. They really did care about me, huh...? _Why_...? "Okay," I started, "I'll tell you everything. But that doesn't mean any of you are going to like it."

"Well, we'll just have to embrace the truth then. Nothing we can't do," Yosuke smiled warmly.

"Alright, it started when I was ten."

"I was sitting in my room when I first heard them. I sat up in my bed and looked around. I could swear I heard someone just then. I got out of bed and looked around my room, but found no one. I left my room and checked to make sure there was no one in the house. I checked my sister's room. She was very young at the time, and still slept in a crib. I heard the voice again. He told me that my sister couldn't sleep. I looked at her, and did indeed notice she seemed to be having some sort of restless sleep. He told me I could help her. I asked how, even though I still couldn't tell where the voice was coming from. It sounded familiar, however. He told me there was a way, by putting my hands on her neck. I followed his instructions, but was a bit uncertain. But I'd do anything to help my sister. He told me to squeeze her neck, and I said that I didn't think it was a good idea. She started to cry because I had woken her up by touching her and talking out loud. He kept telling me to do it, so I continued to refuse. Eventually he said he would do it himself. But if he had to do it himself, he'd hurt everyone else too, including me. I still wanted to refuse, but he said he'd hit me. He said he'd cut me and kill me. Everyone else too. He kept telling me this for a long time, until I broke. I couldn't stop crying, and I squeezed down on her neck as hard as I could until her crying stopped. I remember seeing her limbs fall uselessly to her sides, and her pulse stop. I stepped back, but the voice called me disgusting. He said I was a monster for hurting my sister like that. And I was sobbing, powerless against the unseen force that made me do such a thing.

"And then my father came into the room. He had heard strange noises and crying, so he came to see if we were okay. He pushed past me to check on my sister, amd the voice told me to go to the kitchen. I didn't want him to hurt me or anyone else, so I quietly obeyed him. Once I arrived, he told me to take the biggest knife. I told him I wasn't allowed to touch those knives, but he said he would cut me with it if I didn't do it. So I took it, and He told me to go back and check on my father. He was going to be so sad, so I had to be there to comfort him.

"And the voice told me to put the knife in my father. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't say anything. I didn't want my father to see me. I was a disgusting, stupid monster that didn't deserve to contaminate his presence. But the voice kept telling me to do it. My father was yelling for my mother to come. I knew I had to do it before she got there, or I might have to kill her too.

"So I did it. I used all my strength to plunge the knife deep into my father's back. I pulled it back out, and I was sprayed with the warm, red blood. He started to crumble to the ground. The voice told me to do it again. And there were other voices too, all telling me to stab him again. I sobbed loudly as I brought down the knife again and again, covering me with his blood. Even though I knew he was dead, I couldn't stop stabbing the knife into his flesh. And I heard footsteps behind me.

"My mother had arrived. I felt so awful. I was a disappointment. She looked at me with hollow, shocked eyes. I knew I was scum, but I was just helping. I killed them so the strange man wouldn't have to. If he did it, he would have hurt them much more. I saved them. I was nothing but helpful, so I smiled at my mum and asked her why she was crying. Didn't she see I had just saved the two of us? Parents just didn't understand. She was scared and crying. She took the knife from my hands and called the police. They took me away, and then I went to the hospital, and didn't come out for a long, long time.

"When they did let me out, I had already turned seventeen. They had just given me a new kind of medication, and I would be allowed to leave for a year, so they could observe my behaviour. I'd go into rehabilitation after that. I was never exactly free, though. I had to be very careful to take my medication and see my therapist every week. And then I could be normal. I could have my life back."

I closed my eyes and smiled. I knew they were going to be afraid of me. They were going to attack me, or run from me. I had stained these very hands with the blood of people who loved me. They would hate me. I had fun while I could be with these people, but I wished it could've lasted longer. It's alright though, it was my fault. I had no one to blame but myself. When I opened my eyes, I could see the shock on their faces. But they didn't say a word. I looked around at each of them, waiting patiently for a response. I looked down again. I wish they would just say what was on their minds. That would make everything easier.

"Narukami..." Chie finally uttered. She sniffled with a pained expression. "That's so terrible..."

Yes, I knew it was. I was terrible, and I should die. But I waited for the rest of them to voice their thoughts.

Kanji hit the ground with his fist, making everyone jump. "Fuck... Nobody deserves that! To be manipulated by something that doesn't even exist!"

"I can't believe this..." Yosuke said quietly. "I'm so sorry, partner. I had no idea it was this bad. Does it at least feel better to get it off your chest?"

I didn't understand. Why were they being so nice to me? I killed two people. "Why...?" I asked. Why weren't they running? Why didn't they hate me? My eyes burned, and I felt small tears forming. "Why are you being so good to me...?"

"Didn't you hear us before, Narukami?" Yukiko said, trying her hardest to show a smile. It almost looked pained, that she was holding back tears and making herself smile. She didn't have to do that for me, I didn't deserve it. "We said we'd accept you no matter what. That's what friends are for."

At that, I lost everything. I lost my composure, I lost my fear, and I lost my resentment. I was crying, and aware of a presence close to me. As I rubbed tears out of my eyes, Yosuke was hugging me. I could hear him whispering in my ear that I would be okay, and to just let it all out. I put all of my weight on him, and cried into his shoulder for as long as I could remember. I didn't understand these people. So why did I get so attached to them? I was so stupid. I was stupid for doubting them.

After I got it together, we decided to go to sleep. It was crowded with five people, but I never left Yosuke's side. I was scared I would lose it again, and he was the person I trusted most.

The next morning, Yukiko and Chie were already gone. Kanji had taken up their space, and I woke up clinging to Yosuke's arm. I quickly shifted away from him to give him space, but soon enough the teachers came around to wake us up anyways.

We groggily got out of our tents, and my stomach hurt badly. But I'd be fine though, I felt pretty good having told my friends the truth. We went to have breakfast, and I didn't have to hide my medication from them.

"So, what do you guys think about going swimming?" Yosuke proposed. We all agreed it was a great idea for some reason. We made our way to the waterfall, and the girls mentioned they hadn't brought swimsuits. After Yosuke fixed that problem, we were ready to get in.

"Hey Yosuke," I said, "I really like your swimsuit," I smiled.

"Um, thanks?" He replied, looking awkwardly to the side. "Yours is... Pretty interesting."

"Dude, it's great," Kanji commented. "You look kinda like you just came from a pride parade."

I smiled and looked down. I could see where he got the idea. "I'll keep that in mind if there's ever a pride parade."

"And you'd be going to one of those?" Yosuke asked.

I nodded. "Why not? I never really got what's wrong with gay people anyway. They need love too."

"I don't need to be having this conversation," Yosuke huffed. I wondered why Yosuke was acting all weird all of a sudden. Then I remembered I had just addressed him by his first name. Yep, that'd be it.

Yosuke commented on the girls' bodies, and we both ended up getting thrown into the icy water. Soon enough, Kanji was right in there with us, and we absconded when we heard Morooka vomiting upstream. We went home, and even though I felt disgusting, I couldn't stop smiling.

I was happier than I'd ever been.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the wait, guys! I've been a bit busy lately.

* * *

Class had just ended, and I was sitting at my desk, putting my notebooks into my bag. As I was just about to leave, Yosuke approached my desk. "Hey, partner," he greeted. "Do you want to hang out? There's some stuff I wanted to talk to you about."

"Um…" I looked down in thought. "I think I can if it doesn't take long," I told him.

He tilted his head. "Do you have plans or something?" he asked.

I snapped my bag shut and stood up at the slide of the desk across from him. "Yeah, I have work, but it's later this evening… I think we could go do something," I informed him.

"Wait, you have a job? When did you get a job?" He asked, leaning forward over my desk.

"It's just volunteer work. I make cranes and envelopes… There's other stuff too," I smiled. "I feel like I should probably pay this world back for who I've taken from it. Well, I can at least try."

Yosuke nodded. "Hmm. Yeah, that makes sense. I won't keep you for long."

He and I left the school together, and chatted about random things as we wandered around town. I noticed right away he seemed to be in a bit of a bad mood. Soon enough, we arrived at the riverbank, and I had to ask him what was on his mind. He hesitated at first, but then he started to tell me about Saki. He told me about how she helped him, and how he felt about her. His voice got shakier and shakier as he went on, until he lost his composure and broke down.

I didn't feel sad often, but the sobbing mess in front of me must've really gotten to me. Yosuke had probably been keeping these emotions bottled up for so long that they burst out, turning him into what he was now. I imagined he would've moved on, but after explaining to me why he loved Saki... I understood him better now. She was the person who told him that she saw him for who he was, and not who his parents were.

He needed someone to be there for him. It gave me a warm feeling knowing that I had a friend like him. I didn't mind supporting him at all. I'd always be willing to do it if he needed me to.

"I'm sorry, I can't stop crying..." He sniffled, bringing me back to the present.

"No, don't apologize, I understand." I replied warmly. After a few more moments, I thought that words might not quite be enough. I stepped towards him and embraced him closely.

He held me, quietly crying into my shoulder. "You're a dumbass. Only girls are supposed to do that," he mumbled, words obviously contradicting his actions.

I smiled to myself. He was acting just like himself, as always. "It doesn't have to be. Those roles are stupid, don't you think? Boys are allowed to have all the same emotions girls do, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"I guess." He muttered. "... Thanks, though. I really needed that. And you... You're a good friend, you know? You've helped me out a lot. You've been really good to me, even though I'm not that great a guy..."

"Don't say that," I told him sympathetically. "Don't act like I've only helped you. You've been there for me too, especially when I needed someone. You were so quick to accept me for not being normal, when most people got scared and left..." I trailed off, but I didn't break off the contact yet. "You're the closest I've ever gotten to another person. I really appreciate that," I finished, reluctantly pulling away from the hug.

"Yu..." Yosuke called quietly, rubbing the tears from his eyes with his hands. I wasn't sure what it was, maybe it was the orange sunset sparkling over the riverbank, maybe it was the way he was looking at me with watery, droopy eyes, maybe it was the commentary in my head giving me unwanted advice. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

It only lasted for a few moments, but I snapped back to my senses quickly. I pulled away and took a few steps back. "Ah! Oh no, Yosuke I-"

"Eh? Wh-what...?" He stuttered in shock.

"I'm... So sorry. That was stupid. I didn't mean to... Uh..." I stammered, flustered and confused. Right when I thought we had a solid bond, I had to go wreck everything. That was just my luck.

"Wait... Do you...?" Yosuke looked at me with lost eyes, trying to utter a question he didn't have words for.

"Should we go home? I'm sorry..." I mumbled, embarrassed.

"Yeah. Um. Well... I'll talk to you later?" He asked, already backing away to leave.

I nodded quickly. "Yes. See you... Soon." We took off in opposite directions. I couldn't stop cursing to myself and making incomprehensible groaning noises. By the time I got home, I was a fuming wreck. I locked myself in my room, not even stopping at the fridge on my way. I wanted to text him, or call him, try to fix this mess, but I kept telling myself not to. In my current state, I was not fit to be talking to anyone. I had to calm down, or I'd make everything worse. I could try again tomorrow, that would be my best bet. I couldn't leave it for too long, or it would get way worse than it was now. With this storm of emotions in me, I went to bed.

I could barely talk to him the next day. I would sometimes catch his eye, only for both of us to look away. None of our other friends noticed it, luckily. After school, I found myself just sitting in my desk, not even wanting to go anywhere. I had to fix the problem. I wasn't going to get many other chances. But the idea of talking to him face-to-face was a terrifying thought. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I was an idiot for doing that anyway. This was my fault, so I had to change it. I opened up my phone and typed in a message. I read it over and over, and then ended up deleting it again. I typed a new one, and it also met its end according to my backspace button. After many attempts, I finally settled on one.

"We need to talk. Do you want to meet at my house?"

There. It said what it needed to, and nothing irrelevant. Once I had visually confirmed it couldn't be better, I hit the send button. I felt like my heart rate should be increasing, but the pills for my side-effects were keeping that at bay. When a familiar buzzing sound came from my pocket, I hesitated. It would have some excuse about why he couldn't make it, I just knew it. But I wanted my friend back. I flipped my phone open.

"Okay. Be there in 10."

I smiled with relief. I didn't think it would be that easy. Well, I suppose my current level of stress wouldn't have been able to take anything worse than that. I mustered up my courage and headed for my house.

I got there only a few minutes before he did. When he knocked at the door, I smiled and invited him in for tea. I had to destroy this awkward feeling before I could do anything else. Him and I sat down at the table in the living room and made small talk. It was a bit hard at first, but we both started to relax after a while. Not wanting to make a scene in front of Nanako, I invited him up to my room to talk more.

"So..." Yosuke sighed, slouching onto my couch and getting comfortable. "You wanted to talk?"

I nodded. "Yes, that's right." I looked down at my hands, needing to organize my thoughts before I verbalized them. "I just wanted to say that... If you don't feel the same, I'd like to pretend none of this happened. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose what we have because I did something stupid."

Yosuke bit his lip in thought. "I was thinking about what happened. A lot, actually, I couldn't get it out of my head. It made me wonder if I really did feel the same. I don't think I do, though. But I feel like that could change. And I can assume... You meant that, right?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes I did. What do you mean, that it could change?"

"I meant just that. I wouldn't go as far as to say I... Love you, or anything, but..." He paused, as if searching for the right words. "I'd like to give it a chance." It was at this point that I noticed he was blushing more, and finding something hard to say. "I think... We could at least date."

My eyes widened. I had gotten myself completely prepared for rejection, and I had thought of every different way for him to turn me down. Not for a second did I consider that he might want to try this. "So... You want to be my boyfriend?" I asked, hardly believing my ears.

He managed a smile. "Yeah. You're cool with that?"

I nodded quickly. I didn't even have words at this point. There were hundreds of words spinning around my head, but they slowed down to make room for a question. "What do boyfriends even do?"

Yosuke opened his mouth, but hesitated. "I would say normal relationship stuff, but I don't even know much about those things."

I scooted closer to him on the couch, and affectionately rubbed my shoulder against his. "Well, I think we can figure it out. Do what feels right. Something like that."

"Sounds like a plan, partner," he agreed. We spent some more time together, and he eventually went home. I was ecstatic for the rest of the night, I couldn't even sleep.

Over the course of the next few days, we both really did try to make it work. We would go out to movies and buy each other lunch.

It was going so well, I worried we'd get sick of each other because we were spending so much time together. But I was more worried about something else. I kept having nightmares every night since that happened. I would get nightmares all the time, but these were the worst. I would wake up in a cold sweat, with cuts and bruises on my body that I suppose I put there.

"Hey, Narukami!" Chie greeted one afternoon, after school at Junes.

"Hey, guys." I smiled.

I found my mind wandering, and I just couldn't keep focused on the conversation we were having. Random thoughts were going through my head, and I just couldn't even keep my mind on anything.

"What do you think, Yu?" I heard Yosuke say.

I sat up straight. "Sorry, what?" I asked.

He frowned and sighed. "Were you not paying attention? That's not like you."

"Are you getting sick, or something, senpai?" Kanji asked. "You're looking a bit pale, I notice."

Rise leaned in a bit closer. "You've got some pretty big bags under your eyes. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's nothing, just a bit tired." I responded. But I knew it was worse than that. I guess these nightmares were taking a toll on me, I had been losing a lot of sleep from them, after all.

I made plans to talk to Yosuke, because I needed to explain to him what was going on. I felt like he deserved to know.

"I need to tell you something, Yosuke." I said, looking down at the table. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him. I'd rather he left me and was safe, then be with me and hurt.

Yosuke looked concerned. He must've noticed the change in my mood. "What is it, Yu? Is something the matter?"

I nodded. I had to tell him. I had to keep him safe from myself. He wasn't safe around me anymore. All I wanted was to protect him. "I've been having a reoccurring dream every night." I stopped for a moment to keep myself composed. "In my dream, I always kill you." He didn't say anything to that. But the shock was clear on his face. I hated giving him information like this, but he needed to know. "It's worse every time. Every night, I put you through more pain than the last. I'm always so hopelessly emerged in your screams of pain, the look of pure despair on your face, and the blood pooling around your body. And that's the worst part. That I'm aware of how much I'm enjoying it. And after the hours of torture, I can finally wake up. Every night I'm afraid to go to sleep." A took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "If I ever lose my head, Yosuke… I could kill you. This thing in me… Has already taken over my subconscious. There's no telling if it'll consume me again. I don't want to hurt anyone else, and especially not you. That last thing I want is to put you through something like that. You're not safe with me."

A minute of stunned silence passed. I guess he just didn't know how to react. And I didn't blame him, either.

"You won't hurt me," he choked out, after what seemed like so long. "How long have we been best friends? Getting close to a year, huh?" He asked, looking up at me. "I can't count the number of times you've saved my life anymore. I wouldn't hesitate for a second to put my life in your hands again. You taught me so many things. You taught me what friendship was like. You showed me to appreciate the little things and get over grief." He managed a small smile. "I trust you. There may be something bad in you, but I believe you can fight it. Fight it for me." He reached across the table and took my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

I stood up from our table, and motioned for him up to stand with me. I pulled him in for a hug. I wrapped my entire body around him, and let it linger. His body felt so warm and comforting, but I knew I had to let go eventually. "I love you, Yosuke." I said quietly and gave him a small kiss.

When I looked at him he was smiling and blushing. I loved that look on him. "I… ah…" he stuttered.

"It's okay if you can't say the same yet," I told him. "I'll wait for you."

"Okay… Thanks, partner." He said to me.


End file.
